Thursday, June 05, 2014

THE HORROR OF IT ALL



           THE HORROR OF IT ALL
                  By Doc Walton

Let's begin at the beginning the wise have often said.
It­'s not what we've been told or the books that we have read.
It's the movies that have shaped us who lived before TV.
I know of this for certain, 'cause it happened sure to me.

I pay now homage to the films throughout my years,
That most invoked my laughter, my tears and all my fears.
The films that have taught me all the small things that I know,
How to stand up straight and tall, how to think and how to grow.

There were lessons to be learned upon the Silver Screen,
But it wasn’t education about which I was keen.
It was all those creatures, all those monsters in the night
That gripped me so with terror, such vicarious delight.

I interrupt to warn you, lest you think me simply mad,
That among my list of goodies, you will find a lot that’s bad.
Some greats are on my list, left off I’d be the fool. 
But for me they are the lesser, ‘tis horror truly rules.
1941
Citizen Kane made its auspicious debut
And was over-rated in my subjective view.
The Wolfman appeared to save my first year,
Metamorphosing darkly, inspiring my fear.
1942
The Mummy’s Tomb brought the curse of Ah-Mand-Rah.
To The Ghost of Frankenstein don’t take your sweet grandma.
The film she would most like, take this to your banker, 
The box office bonanza, the war film Casablanca.
1943
Son of Dracula that year was a highlight for me.
Lassie Come Home is remembered quite fondly.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman could also be seen,
If like me you chose monsters on your movie screen.
1944
House of Frankenstein came and was quickly sent
To the B movie houses for which it was meant,
Where it paired with a clunker, The Mummy’s Curse.
In Forty-four a toss-up for which bad film was worse.
I’ll skip National Velvet also shown in that year.
Though a young ‘Lizbeth Taylor I’ll always hold dear.
‘Cause the film lacked a heavy, some horrible creature,
For that’s what I think my kind of film should feature.
1945
And Then There Were None in the year forty-five.
Agatha’s Christie’s tale where but one would survive.
It was better by far than another that I’ll mention,
House of Dracula though lame, still caught my attention.
1946
Song of the South and It’s a Wonderful Life
Were box office favorites that caused me no strife.
The Yearling was nice, but the film that still lingers
Is the B movie treat, The Beast With Five Fingers.
1947
This year was a dud, not a film with a fright
That was worthy of mares that come in the night.
Sinbad the Sailor was adventurous fare.
‘Bout The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, I just didn’t care.
1948
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein at last,
Which both tickled and scared me in my distant past.
The Three Musketeers swashbuckled to their fate.
A windy Key Largo one spook short of great.
1949
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court
Featured dapper Bing Crosby with no song to sport.
The Sands of Iwo Jima had soldiers brav’ry sung,
But for best of the year, give me Mighty Joe Young.
1950
Cyrano De Bergerac unsheathed his lethal sword
Defending unrequited love to keep me far from bored.
Sunset Boulevard in turn, was dark and oh so weepy.
Gloria Swanson’s “close up” a perfect form of creepy.
1951
Jim Thorpe All American was an athlete next to none.
The Day the Earth Stood Still was strictly Sci Fi fun.
The film that set the standard for scaring my wits out
Was The Thing From Another World, for me there is no doubt.
1952
The year was just a tepid one with few monsters slain.
No horrible brutes did this year’s movies entertain.
A song and dance, however, was there to ease my pain,
Gene Kelly doing his best work while Singing in the Rain.
1953
The House of Wax melted down in splendid 3D.
It Came From Outer Space, was an awful film to see.
Invaders From Mars and moral gunfighter Shane
Were better by far than the thing in the jar known as Donovan’s Brain.
1954
The giant black ants that were featured in Them
Were B movie horrors causing sewer mayhem.
The Creature From the Black Lagoon was double fun for me.
Julia Adams in a swimsuit brought on my puberty!
1955
The Night of the Hunter made it perfectly clear.
That humans as monsters could also bring fear.
For the best monstrous thing in a Fifty Five feature
You sat back, relaxed, watched Revenge of the Creature.
1956
Invasion of the Body Snatchers was one of the many
That thrilled me with horror while I chewed Good and Plenty.
The Creature Walks Among Us an unsatisfying sequel,
To Lagoon and Revenge it wasn’t close to equal.
1957
The Incredible Shrinking Man was all the rage
As a man shrinks to nothing on our movie stage.
I saw a Teenage Werewolf and a Teenage Frankenstein.
Neither was destined to H-O-F enshrine.
1958
It Came From Outer Space, if I correctly recall,
Was a movie ‘bout a weird and ominous eyeball.
The year Fifty Eight brought horror movie schlock.
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman was no rock around the clock.
The Fly had its moments, The Blob had none at all,
The Brain Eaters eerieness did make all my skin crawl.
1959
Plan Nine From Outer Space was an Ed Wood disaster
That scared not a wit, but inspired general laughter.
House on Haunted Hill ran chills up/down my spine.
Its ghostly goings on, a preference of mine.
The Tingler was loose “in a theater near you.”
If your seat was wired, it’s a day you would rue.
1960
Village of the Damned – space kids twisted and wrong.
Little Shop of Horrors – the one without the songs.
The film of that year causing viewer unrest
Alfred Hitchcock’s great Psycho, will forever be a best.  


1961
101 Dalmations’ Cruella Deville
The year’s cartoon evil, I remember her still.
The Pit and the Pendulum Poe’s tale dark and mean
Was better in print than it was on the screen.
1962
To Kill a Mockingbird, a ten best of All-Time
That year’s Lolita, was an icky kind of crime.
Cape Fear had my hands clenched in frightful apprehension.
It had no disbelief that needed my suspension.
1963
The Haunting and The Birds - Ghosts and nature come to play.
The Man With the X-ray Eyes also had its big scream day.
In year Sixty Three the horror had to yield
To Soldier in the Rain and Lillies of the Field.
1964
Dr. Strangelove and The Strangler, a mixed bag for sure.
The first one was a riot while the second quite the bore.
The Last Man on Earth, killing vampires was his chore,
While a lone Shot in the Dark had us rolling on the floor.


1965
The Curse of the Fly buzzed on in to mix with human parts.
Cat Ballou rode on the screen and quickly stole our hearts.
Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors I can scarce remember,
Did I see it in the Spring or was it late September?
1966
Dracula Prince of Darkness was revived in Sixty Six.
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf delivered verbal licks.
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter was not on the “A” list.
With Billy the Kid Meets Dracula, two westerns happ’ly missed.
1967
Wait Until Dark, one of several intense movie thrillers
Including the sleeper The Fearless Vampire Killers.
Frankenstein Created Women didn’t have Bridget Bardot.
Too bad, she’d have made it a better body parts show!
1968
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave, he just won’t stay dead.
Rosemary’s Baby was a devil story better read.
Night of the Living Dead was a midnight horror great.
The Graduate was the film to see with your heavy date.


1969
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid shot up and out in glory.
Midnight Cowboy was a heart breaking and oh so tragic story.
This year in film lacked a fright flick dripped with malice
Lest you were shocked by the antics of, Bob, Ted, Carol and Alice.
1970
Mash and Patton did not Taste the Blood of Dracula.
I Drink Your Blood was even less spectacula.
Blood suckers in Seventy had you hiding ‘neath covers
Except for a famous group of us, The Vampire Lovers.
1971
Straw Dogs wasn’t fun to watch and Willard was a rat.
The Omega Man with vampires had a budget less than fat.
But if you ask I’ll tell you, the movie with great vibes
Is now among my favorites, The Abominable Dr. Phibes.
1972
The Godfather and Deliverance eas’ly the year’s best two
Brought different sorts of horror, one old the other blue.
Blacula was quite well played, he looked great in his cloak
While Frogs was almost laughable, no fear lies in their croak.


1973
American Graffiti and The Sting could vie for being best.
But Bram Stoker’s Dracula was head and shoulders ‘bove the rest.
The year brought someone new that got my tail awaggin’
Bruce Lee the breakout star of the flick Enter the Dragon.
1974
Emmanuelle was naughty and never would a moment bore.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was fraught with guts galore.
The killer baby in It’s Alive clearly an unsung favorite.
Young Frankenstein I play each year just so I can savor it.
1975
The Rocky Horror Picture Show had music, laughs and screams.
The Stepford Wives had women to fill a dull man’s dreams.
The movie, though, in this swell year that won the most applause
Was all about a great white shark now known to us as Jaws.
1976
King Kong returned for a second run, but with the same sad end.
Carrie burned the whole town down, because she lacked a friend.
The Omen was a devilish boy hell bent on a killing spree.
Taxi Driver’s remembered for DeNiro’s “ You talkin’ to me?”
1977
Our Saturday Night Fever rose to a hundred and seven.
For Woody Allen Annie Hall was surely sent from heaven.
The Demon Seed was planted without the help of pentacles.
Killer whales saved the day from a giant squid named Tentacles.
1978
Halloween had to be seen, be sure to bring a special date.
The same could be said of Deer Hunter depressing but still great.
Dawn of the Dead featured a zombies at the mall disaster.
The year’s best foreign flick? Jackie Chan in Drunken Master.
1979
An Alien with retractable jaws arrived in outer space.
The Amityville Horror was a truly nasty place.
New York had Warriors patrolling its mean and dark streets.
Apocalypse Now had us fidgeting in our theater seats.
1980
John Carpenter’s The Fog was not about the weather.
The Raging Bull had Jake La Motta throwing heavy leather.
The Shining’s ‘bout a boy whose dad’s gone round the bend.
The Blues Brothers played, sang, and joked right to the very end.
1981
In Eighty One The Evil Dead dwelled in a cabin cellar.
The Howling was from werewolves and not a dog named Yeller.
Mad Max was the hero of an apocalyptic lark.
Indy Jones made his debut in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
1982
In Eighty Two Sophie’s Choice was one I could not make.
Poltergeist and Creepshow were movies I could take.
Throw in a Tootsie to make a cogent point.
Porky’s got big laughs with a thoroughly stretched out joint.

1983
Twilight Zone the Movie mostly failed to thrill.
Nostalgia was the reason for watching The Big Chill.
Christine a car was murderous, evil and tough.
In this year our astronauts displayed all The Right Stuff.
1984
In Eighty Four the Gremlins came to screw with our machinery.
Children of the Corn ran amuck on movie theater screen-ery.
The Terminator said, “I’ll be back” and we all knew he meant it.
If you had a Nightmare on Elm Street you clearly must have dreamt it.
1985
The Return of the Living Dead was not entirely unexpected.
Back to The Future we travelled if I’ve clearly recollected.
A Silver Bullet can play a part in preventing a werewolf’s bite,
Taking down a vampire proves much tougher on Fright Night.
1986
Stand By Me said the spider to The Fly in Eighty Six.
Blue Velvet oh so creepy among my preferred picks.
About the horror of a war Platoon made me a believer.
Stopping Aliens monster things calls for Sigourney Weaver.


1987
Predator went toe to toe with Arnold Schwarzennegar.
In Eighty Seven for horror one needn’t be a beggar.
Hellraiser was a hit and so was Fatal Attraction.
Wall Street won an Oscar for its real world horror faction.
1988
Killer Klowns From Outer Space, you gotta love the title.
Chucky in a Child’s Play from killing seldom idle.
Eighty Eight had Hoffman’s Rain Man on the loose.
Make your fondest wish come true, three times say Beetlejuice.
1989
Pet Semetary was no Field of Dreams in Nineteen Eighty Nine.
A Warlock came upon the screen to keep witches in line.
The Abyss, a bottomless hole, was found in deep sea water.
Batman kicked the Joker’s ass just like we thought he oughter.
1990
Dances With Wolves this year was an epic western feature.
Arachnaphopia had spiders as its principal bad creatures.
Goodfellas truly were not and this film showed us why.
In Misery a demented fan eventually has to die.


1991
Silence of the Lambs – from Lector you dared not blink.
JFKs conspiracy made us all sit back and think.
De Niro plays a heavy in Cape Fear and is no stiff.
Thelma and Louise so lovely, drove our hearts right off a cliff.
1992
Reservoir Dogs in Ninety Two raised the bar for blood and gore.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula left me wanting more for sure.
Scent of a Woman projected tension but nothing scary,
While Basic Instinct gave us all… a glimpse of something hairy.
1993
Jurassic Park’s an island where a T-Rex runs amok.
The Fugitive eventually has a decent run of luck.
Schindler’s List was sad and grim but in the end uplifting.
The Army of Darkness, a neat farce, kept my mind from drifting.
1994
Forest Gump was dumb as a stump but left me wanting more.
Interview With a Vampire was far more than a bore.
Jack Nicholson howled in Wolf an unexpected thriller.
Bloodlust found its rightful home in Natural Born Killers.


1995
Dracula’s Dead and Loving It with few special effects.
Species first seduces men then kills them during sex.
A Vampire in Brooklyn had profit margins in the red.
Horror fans agree this Eddie Murphy clunker’s dead.
1996
Scream we did From Dusk till Dawn two entertaining flicks.
In Fargo a wood chipper is featured in the mix.
Flying saucers and aliens in force come out to play,
Brave humans to the rescue on our Independence Day.
1997
The Titanic sinks and Jodie Foster makes Contact.
The Lost World gets found anew, t-rex and friends are back.
Jackie Chan ends his films with outtakes and funny bloopers,
All of which are far more fun than lame flick Starship Troopers.
1998
The Big Lebowski’s  truly great, but not the least bit scary.
Amongst the goo a laugh or two in There’s Something About Mary.
Godzilla is back in Ninety Eight, the big doof gets remade.
A sleeper with a nifty end is Billy Bob’s Sling Blade.


1999
The Blair Witch Project scared mostly teens, I found it hard to follow.
The biggest let down of the year was Depp in Sleepy Hollow.
The Sixth Sense and The Fight Club both used a director’s gimmick.
The Mummy was a remake but did not the first one mimic.
2000
Scary Movie was not at all, it merely was a spoof.
American Psycho gore almost blew me through the roof.
The century turned and brought an insect filled Pitch Black.
After New Year’s Eve my Final destination was the sack.
2001
On the Planet of the Apes you’d be surprised to find
Some ghostly children Others or A Beautiful Mind.
This cool year brought in a couple of sleepers,
A favorite for me was the unexpected Jeepers Creepers.
2002
Let me tell you terror friends and horror dearies
Resident Evil was the first of a solid series.
This is the year that brought us Signs and Hours.
The Ring was a creepy thing with oddly evil powers.


2003
Darkness Falls on our theater screen.
Mystic River the film, just has to be seen.
Freddie versus Jason - there is no discernible winner.
You can watch Dreamcatcher while you munch a popcorn dinner.
2004
Saw offered choices we all would clearly dread.
Less than cringe worthy was goofy Shaun of the Dead.
The best film title of all, is surely one of a kind,
The marquis reads Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
2005
Big budget remakes saw King Kong return alive.
Earth in War of the Worlds is lucky to survive.
A haunted house theme makes its big screen comeback
With an Amityville Horror’s frightening spook attack.
2006
Croc the movie was just that, a giant crock.
Little Miss Sunshine was too sweet a film to knock.
The Omen remake was a dud and seemed a bit half hearted.
The critics all raved ‘bout well played film The Departed.


2007
There Will Be Blood in year TwoThousand Seven.
The Zodiac killer is going down and not to any heaven.
Paranormal Activity occurs somewhere most every night.
I Am Legend’s blood suckers can’t live in broad daylight.
2008
The Dark Knight is back and the film is a blast
With special effects and an excellent cast.
In Twilight a girl loves a vamp that’s clearly not a Joker.
Though she wants him to, he just won’t deign to poke her.
2009
Zombieland was half joke and half a movie dark.
The Hangover was caused by one night’s Vegas lark.
On Pandora a corporation was the sinner
That helped make Avatar the year’s box office winner.
2010
Tucker and Dale versus Evil…why not?
The Wolfman returned with a twist in its plot.
In Two Thousand Ten a Black Swan took a dive
While back in The Ward a sane girl would survive.


2011

This movie year brought The Artist and The Help.
A remade The Thing came and went without a yelp.
The movie that grabbed me, kept me awake and so alive
Was the action packed thriller they simply titled Drive.
2012
Prometheus on Imax and seen in dimensions three
Made this Summer movie hit a max highlight for me.
The Hunger Games and The Hobbit also were a treat
A Cabin In The Woods housed horror and dead meat.
2013
Two Thousand Thirteen and I’ve reached this poem’s end
World War Z’s concluded, the world’s now on the mend.
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters finished off this horror year.
Here’s hoping 2014 brings more vicarious fear.