NOW IN THE NEWS

 This is a post I wrote off-line awhile ago and forgot about...until now.

"Your server is not responding."

Tell me about it!  I've been sitting here with an empty coffee cup and no Internet for fifteen minutes!  Who runs this joint anyway? 

Which is why I'm back to Self Serve, writing off line and getting my own damn java. 

Woowoo Charly and I are recently back from a three week jaunt to The States.  I could be writing about that but since it would concern mostly family stuff and mostly family reads this, let me just say... talk among yourselves.

Many happenings of blog worthy note passed before during and after our trip and I thought I would address some of them as that is what I was sent here from my home planet to do.

Taking last things first which is the right way to do it on my aforesaid planet, I will begin with the Ichiro trade.  Ichiro, for those of you who are bewildered by the reference, is not a skin disorder, but rather a talented professional baseball player.  So talented, I should point out, that I consider him to be the best all-around player that I have ever seen.  All though his skills (note here that I have said skills and not "skill set" because the latter is a junk phrase employed by mindless, copycat, sportscasters trying to sound like they are on to something when, in truth, they are usually clueless) have declined somewhat at his now age of 38, he will still be an enormous asset to his new team, The New York Yankees, or, as I am inclined to think of them, El equipo del diablo, the team of the devil.  A fall from grace (all other teams) into pin-striped, cloned zombie land is not a fate I would have wished for Ichiro, but is, alas, what happened.  Too bad, I say, too bad.

It was also revealed sometime in the last few weeks that a man with some sort of dementia drove many miles with his dog in a cage on the roof top of his car.  What surprised me when I learned of this hideous act of uncaring callousness, was that this same man was not arrested or fined, but is instead running for president of the United States!  President of the One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Recently Escaped I can understand, but of the U.S.?  How can that be possible?  It was later clarified for me by Woowoo Charly who explained that if you rearrange the letters in the man's name, Mitt Romney, you can make the words butthead, braindead, pawn of the party, and I don't need a mind or a conscience, I have money.

Lastly, and how does one speak of the unspeakable, there is the Aurora, Colorado, theater shooting.  Yet another madman goes berserk, shoots and kills the innocent. "Guns don't kill people" the NRA and others tell us truthfully, but be fucking serious, they sure do help.  How long will it be before our elected chickenshits do something about controlling the sale of automatic weapons and their ammunition?  Ever?

I'm now too bummed to say more.