THE HORROR OF IT ALL

           THE HORROR OF IT ALL

                  By Doc Walton

Let's begin at the beginning the wise have often said.

It­'s not what we've been told or the books that we have read.

It's the movies that have shaped us who lived before TV.

I know of this for certain, 'cause it happened sure to me.

I pay now homage to the films throughout my years,

That most invoked my laughter, my tears and all my fears.

The films that have taught me all the small things that I know,

How to stand up straight and tall, how to think and how to grow.

There were lessons to be learned upon the Silver Screen,

But it wasn’t education about which I was keen.

It was all those creatures, all those monsters in the night

That gripped me so with terror, such vicarious delight.

I interrupt to warn you, lest you think me simply mad,

That among my list of goodies, you will find a lot that’s bad.

Some greats are on my list, left off I’d be the fool. 

But for me they are the lesser, ‘tis horror truly rules.

1941

Citizen Kane made its auspicious debut

And was over-rated in my subjective view.

The Wolfman appeared to save my first year,

Metamorphosing darkly, inspiring my fear.

1942

The Mummy’s Tomb brought the curse of Ah-Mand-Rah.

To The Ghost of Frankenstein don’t take your sweet grandma.

The film she would most like, take this to your banker, 

The box office bonanza, the war film Casablanca.

1943

Son of Dracula that year was a highlight for me.

Lassie Come Home is remembered quite fondly.

Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman could also be seen,

If like me you chose monsters on your movie screen.

1944

House of Frankenstein came and was quickly sent

To the B movie houses for which it was meant,

Where it paired with a clunker, The Mummy’s Curse.

In Forty-four a toss-up for which bad film was worse.

I’ll skip National Velvet also shown in that year.

Though a young ‘Lizbeth Taylor I’ll always hold dear.

‘Cause the film lacked a heavy, some horrible creature,

For that’s what I think my kind of film should feature.

1945

And Then There Were None in the year forty-five.

Agatha’s Christie’s tale where but one would survive.

It was better by far than another that I’ll mention,

House of Dracula though lame, still caught my attention.

1946

Song of the South and It’s a Wonderful Life

Were box office favorites that caused me no strife.

The Yearling was nice, but the film that still lingers

Is the B movie treat, The Beast With Five Fingers.

1947

This year was a dud, not a film with a fright

That was worthy of mares that come in the night.

Sinbad the Sailor was adventurous fare.

‘Bout The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, I just didn’t care.

1948

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein at last,

Which both tickled and scared me in my distant past.

The Three Musketeers swashbuckled to their fate.

A windy Key Largo one spook short of great.

1949

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

Featured dapper Bing Crosby with no song to sport.

The Sands of Iwo Jima had soldiers brav’ry sung,

But for best of the year, give me Mighty Joe Young.

1950

Cyrano De Bergerac unsheathed his lethal sword

Defending unrequited love to keep me far from bored.

Sunset Boulevard in turn, was dark and oh so weepy.

Gloria Swanson’s “close up” a perfect form of creepy.

1951

Jim Thorpe All American was an athlete next to none.

The Day the Earth Stood Still was strictly Sci Fi fun.

The film that set the standard for scaring my wits out

Was The Thing From Another World, for me there is no doubt.

1952

The year was just a tepid one with few monsters slain.

No horrible brutes did this year’s movies entertain.

A song and dance, however, was there to ease my pain,

Gene Kelly doing his best work while Singing in the Rain.

1953

The House of Wax melted down in splendid 3D.

It Came From Outer Space, was an awful film to see.

Invaders From Mars and moral gunfighter Shane

Were better by far than the thing in the jar known as Donovan’s Brain.

1954

The giant black ants that were featured in Them

Were B movie horrors causing sewer mayhem.

The Creature From the Black Lagoon was double fun for me.

Julia Adams in a swimsuit brought on my puberty!

1955

The Night of the Hunter made it perfectly clear.

That humans as monsters could also bring fear.

For the best monstrous thing in a Fifty Five feature

You sat back, relaxed, watched Revenge of the Creature.

1956

Invasion of the Body Snatchers was one of the many

That thrilled me with horror while I chewed Good and Plenty.

The Creature Walks Among Us an unsatisfying sequel,

To Lagoon and Revenge it wasn’t close to equal.

1957

The Incredible Shrinking Man was all the rage

As a man shrinks to nothing on our movie stage.

I saw a Teenage Werewolf and a Teenage Frankenstein.

Neither was destined to H-O-F enshrine.

1958

It Came From Outer Space, if I correctly recall,

Was a movie ‘bout a weird and ominous eyeball.

The year Fifty Eight brought horror movie schlock.

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman was no rock around the clock.

The Fly had its moments, The Blob had none at all,

The Brain Eaters eerieness did make all my skin crawl.

1959

Plan Nine From Outer Space was an Ed Wood disaster

That scared not a wit, but inspired general laughter.

House on Haunted Hill ran chills up/down my spine.

Its ghostly goings on, a preference of mine.

The Tingler was loose “in a theater near you.”

If your seat was wired, it’s a day you would rue.

1960

Village of the Damned – space kids twisted and wrong.

Little Shop of Horrors – the one without the songs.

The film of that year causing viewer unrest

Alfred Hitchcock’s great Psycho, will forever be a best.  

1961

101 Dalmations’ Cruella Deville

The year’s cartoon evil, I remember her still.

The Pit and the Pendulum Poe’s tale dark and mean

Was better in print than it was on the screen.

1962

To Kill a Mockingbird, a ten best of All-Time

That year’s Lolita, was an icky kind of crime.

Cape Fear had my hands clenched in frightful apprehension.

It had no disbelief that needed my suspension.

1963

The Haunting and The Birds - Ghosts and nature come to play.

The Man With the X-ray Eyes also had its big scream day.

In year Sixty Three the horror had to yield

To Soldier in the Rain and Lillies of the Field.

1964

Dr. Strangelove and The Strangler, a mixed bag for sure.

The first one was a riot while the second quite the bore.

The Last Man on Earth, killing vampires was his chore,

While a lone Shot in the Dark had us rolling on the floor.

1965

The Curse of the Fly buzzed on in to mix with human parts.

Cat Ballou rode on the screen and quickly stole our hearts.

Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors I can scarce remember,

Did I see it in the Spring or was it late September?

1966

Dracula Prince of Darkness was revived in Sixty Six.

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf delivered verbal licks.

Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter was not on the “A” list.

With Billy the Kid Meets Dracula, two westerns happ’ly missed.

1967

Wait Until Dark, one of several intense movie thrillers

Including the sleeper The Fearless Vampire Killers.

Frankenstein Created Women didn’t have Bridget Bardot.

Too bad, she’d have made it a better body parts show!

1968

Dracula Has Risen From The Grave, he just won’t stay dead.

Rosemary’s Baby was a devil story better read.

Night of the Living Dead was a midnight horror great.

The Graduate was the film to see with your heavy date.

1969

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid shot up and out in glory.

Midnight Cowboy was a heart breaking and oh so tragic story.

This year in film lacked a fright flick dripped with malice

Lest you were shocked by the antics of, Bob, Ted, Carol and Alice.

1970

Mash and Patton did not Taste the Blood of Dracula.

I Drink Your Blood was even less spectacula.

Blood suckers in Seventy had you hiding ‘neath covers

Except for a famous group of us, The Vampire Lovers.

1971

Straw Dogs wasn’t fun to watch and Willard was a rat.

The Omega Man with vampires had a budget less than fat.

But if you ask I’ll tell you, the movie with great vibes

Is now among my favorites, The Abominable Dr. Phibes.

1972

The Godfather and Deliverance eas’ly the year’s best two

Brought different sorts of horror, one old the other blue.

Blacula was quite well played, he looked great in his cloak

While Frogs was almost laughable, no fear lies in their croak.

1973

American Graffiti and The Sting could vie for being best.

But Bram Stoker’s Dracula was head and shoulders ‘bove the rest.

The year brought someone new that got my tail awaggin’

Bruce Lee the breakout star of the flick Enter the Dragon.

1974

Emmanuelle was naughty and never would a moment bore.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was fraught with guts galore.

The killer baby in It’s Alive clearly an unsung favorite.

Young Frankenstein I play each year just so I can savor it.

1975

The Rocky Horror Picture Show had music, laughs and screams.

The Stepford Wives had women to fill a dull man’s dreams.

The movie, though, in this swell year that won the most applause

Was all about a great white shark now known to us as Jaws.

1976

King Kong returned for a second run, but with the same sad end.

Carrie burned the whole town down, because she lacked a friend.

The Omen was a devilish boy hell bent on a killing spree.

Taxi Driver’s remembered for DeNiro’s “ You talkin’ to me?”

1977

Our Saturday Night Fever rose to a hundred and seven.

For Woody Allen Annie Hall was surely sent from heaven.

The Demon Seed was planted without the help of pentacles.

Killer whales saved the day from a giant squid named Tentacles.

1978

Halloween had to be seen, be sure to bring a special date.

The same could be said of Deer Hunter depressing but still great.

Dawn of the Dead featured a zombies at the mall disaster.

The year’s best foreign flick? Jackie Chan in Drunken Master.

1979

An Alien with retractable jaws arrived in outer space.

The Amityville Horror was a truly nasty place.

New York had Warriors patrolling its mean and dark streets.

Apocalypse Now had us fidgeting in our theater seats.

1980

John Carpenter’s The Fog was not about the weather.

The Raging Bull had Jake La Motta throwing heavy leather.

The Shining’s ‘bout a boy whose dad’s gone round the bend.

The Blues Brothers played, sang, and joked right to the very end.

1981

In Eighty One The Evil Dead dwelled in a cabin cellar.

The Howling was from werewolves and not a dog named Yeller.

Mad Max was the hero of an apocalyptic lark.

Indy Jones made his debut in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

1982

In Eighty Two Sophie’s Choice was one I could not make.

Poltergeist and Creepshow were movies I could take.

Throw in a Tootsie to make a cogent point.

Porky’s got big laughs with a thoroughly stretched out joint.

1983

Twilight Zone the Movie mostly failed to thrill.

Nostalgia was the reason for watching The Big Chill.

Christine a car was murderous, evil and tough.

In this year our astronauts displayed all The Right Stuff.

1984

In Eighty Four the Gremlins came to screw with our machinery.

Children of the Corn ran amuck on movie theater screen-ery.

The Terminator said, “I’ll be back” and we all knew he meant it.

If you had a Nightmare on Elm Street you clearly must have dreamt it.

1985

The Return of the Living Dead was not entirely unexpected.

Back to The Future we travelled if I’ve clearly recollected.

A Silver Bullet can play a part in preventing a werewolf’s bite,

Taking down a vampire proves much tougher on Fright Night.

1986

Stand By Me said the spider to The Fly in Eighty Six.

Blue Velvet oh so creepy among my preferred picks.

About the horror of a war Platoon made me a believer.

Stopping Aliens monster things calls for Sigourney Weaver.

1987

Predator went toe to toe with Arnold Schwarzennegar.

In Eighty Seven for horror one needn’t be a beggar.

Hellraiser was a hit and so was Fatal Attraction.

Wall Street won an Oscar for its real world horror faction.

1988

Killer Klowns From Outer Space, you gotta love the title.

Chucky in a Child’s Play from killing seldom idle.

Eighty Eight had Hoffman’s Rain Man on the loose.

Make your fondest wish come true, three times say Beetlejuice.

1989

Pet Semetary was no Field of Dreams in Nineteen Eighty Nine.

A Warlock came upon the screen to keep witches in line.

The Abyss, a bottomless hole, was found in deep sea water.

Batman kicked the Joker’s ass just like we thought he oughter.

1990

Dances With Wolves this year was an epic western feature.

Arachnaphopia had spiders as its principal bad creatures.

Goodfellas truly were not and this film showed us why.

In Misery a demented fan eventually has to die.

1991

Silence of the Lambs – from Lector you dared not blink.

JFKs conspiracy made us all sit back and think.

De Niro plays a heavy in Cape Fear and is no stiff.

Thelma and Louise so lovely, drove our hearts right off a cliff.

1992

Reservoir Dogs in Ninety Two raised the bar for blood and gore.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula left me wanting more for sure.

Scent of a Woman projected tension but nothing scary,

While Basic Instinct gave us all… a glimpse of something hairy.

1993

Jurassic Park’s an island where a T-Rex runs amok.

The Fugitive eventually has a decent run of luck.

Schindler’s List was sad and grim but in the end uplifting.

The Army of Darkness, a neat farce, kept my mind from drifting.

1994

Forest Gump was dumb as a stump but left me wanting more.

Interview With a Vampire was far more than a bore.

Jack Nicholson howled in Wolf an unexpected thriller.

Bloodlust found its rightful home in Natural Born Killers.

1995

Dracula’s Dead and Loving It with few special effects.

Species first seduces men then kills them during sex.

A Vampire in Brooklyn had profit margins in the red.

Horror fans agree this Eddie Murphy clunker’s dead.

1996

Scream we did From Dusk till Dawn two entertaining flicks.

In Fargo a wood chipper is featured in the mix.

Flying saucers and aliens in force come out to play,

Brave humans to the rescue on our Independence Day.

1997

The Titanic sinks and Jodie Foster makes Contact.

The Lost World gets found anew, t-rex and friends are back.

Jackie Chan ends his films with outtakes and funny bloopers,

All of which are far more fun than lame flick Starship Troopers.

1998

The Big Lebowski’s  truly great, but not the least bit scary.

Amongst the goo a laugh or two in There’s Something About Mary.

Godzilla is back in Ninety Eight, the big doof gets remade.

A sleeper with a nifty end is Billy Bob’s Sling Blade.

1999

The Blair Witch Project scared mostly teens, I found it hard to follow.

The biggest let down of the year was Depp in Sleepy Hollow.

The Sixth Sense and The Fight Club both used a director’s gimmick.

The Mummy was a remake but did not the first one mimic.

2000

Scary Movie was not at all, it merely was a spoof.

American Psycho gore almost blew me through the roof.

The century turned and brought an insect filled Pitch Black.

After New Year’s Eve my Final destination was the sack.

2001

On the Planet of the Apes you’d be surprised to find

Some ghostly children Others or A Beautiful Mind.

This cool year brought in a couple of sleepers,

A favorite for me was the unexpected Jeepers Creepers.

2002

Let me tell you terror friends and horror dearies

Resident Evil was the first of a solid series.

This is the year that brought us Signs and Hours.

The Ring was a creepy thing with oddly evil powers.

2003

Darkness Falls on our theater screen.

Mystic River the film, just has to be seen.

Freddie versus Jason - there is no discernible winner.

You can watch Dreamcatcher while you munch a popcorn dinner.

2004

Saw offered choices we all would clearly dread.

Less than cringe worthy was goofy Shaun of the Dead.

The best film title of all, is surely one of a kind,

The marquis reads Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

2005

Big budget remakes saw King Kong return alive.

Earth in War of the Worlds is lucky to survive.

A haunted house theme makes its big screen comeback

With an Amityville Horror’s frightening spook attack.

2006

Croc the movie was just that, a giant crock.

Little Miss Sunshine was too sweet a film to knock.

The Omen remake was a dud and seemed a bit half hearted.

The critics all raved ‘bout well played film The Departed.

2007

There Will Be Blood in year TwoThousand Seven.

The Zodiac killer is going down and not to any heaven.

Paranormal Activity occurs somewhere most every night.

I Am Legend’s blood suckers can’t live in broad daylight.

2008

The Dark Knight is back and the film is a blast

With special effects and an excellent cast.

In Twilight a girl loves a vamp that’s clearly not a Joker.

Though she wants him to, he just won’t deign to poke her.

2009

Zombieland was half joke and half a movie dark.

The Hangover was caused by one night’s Vegas lark.

On Pandora a corporation was the sinner

That helped make Avatar the year’s box office winner.

2010

Tucker and Dale versus Evil…why not?

The Wolfman returned with a twist in its plot.

In Two Thousand Ten a Black Swan took a dive

While back in The Ward a sane girl would survive.

2011

This movie year brought The Artist and The Help.

A remade The Thing came and went without a yelp.

The movie that grabbed me, kept me awake and so alive

Was the action packed thriller they simply titled Drive.

2012

Prometheus on Imax and seen in dimensions three

Made this Summer movie hit a max highlight for me.

The Hunger Games and The Hobbit also were a treat

A Cabin In The Woods housed horror and dead meat.

2013

Two Thousand Thirteen and I’ve reached this poem’s end

World War Z’s concluded, the world’s now on the mend.

Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters finished off this horror year.

Here’s hoping 2014 brings more vicarious fear.