Ask your doctor if...

There's a cure for almost everything to be found just by watching television. One that's missing,though,is a cure for bad poetry. Read this at your own risk.


ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF
By Doc Walton

I hunkered down in my armchair,
I wasn't going anywhere.
Turned on the tube to see what's there
and found too much to my despair.

I wasn't feeling out of sorts
or even off my feed,
when I sat down to watch TV,
I was not seeking words to heed.

But there they were repeatedly
amidst my favorite show,
if my desire was for good health,
the things I'd need to know.

Should I have COPD Sport,
and breathing is a trial,
then I'll dose myself with Symbicort,
and simply wait awhile.

I took a breath and wondered if
my lungs would find this fate.
and if it turned that was the case,
would I incline to sit and wait.

Not to worry if I need to hurry
my breath they can repair.
Just put to mouth to pull and puff,
inhalants from Advair.

Well sure I said, my hand to chest,
but what if I have asthma?
Should I be hooked to tubes and wires
and pump my veins with plasma?

I was glad to get the remedy
from folks who seemed to care a
bout what to do when breaths are few
just pop their pill Dulera"

My mind at rest, I settled back
to watch a bit more show,
but to my ultimate distress,
was more I'd need to know.

A cut away from slick gunplay
to inform me all about,
the deeply dreadful, awful plight,
of those who suffer painful gout.

"When your joints so acidy ache,
from urine not euphoric,
just toss aside your woes and take
our magic pill Uloric."

I put aside my thoughts of pee,
to learn how to survive a...
nother COPD fight
a matchup with Spiriva.

My chest still hurt, my heart I feared,
I'd have to get the facts a...
bout what to do and how to use
the product called Predaxa.

Now my skin's a mess, I'm breaking out
I truly look like hell,
but as luck would have, the answer's there
My TV says just take Embrel.

If my skin gets worse it also says,
don't self delude and lie of this,
Just dose myself with Stelara
and chase away psoriasis.

Levemir Flexpen's what I'll need
in case of diabetes,
from too much food and too much booze
and sugar on my Wheaties.

Humira me I ask you please
for damage from arthritis.
To make me whole, put mind at ease
with good health please unite us.

I hadn't noticed this before
a problem rarely spied or seen.
For dry mouth water's not the cure
I need to suck down Biotene.

For problems like wet underwear
Not to fret and get all hyper.
Just treat myself with Vesicare
and throw away my diaper.

About my pounds I'm less than keen
I wish that I could drop 'em
I'm off to buy some Lipozene
unwrap the drugs and pop 'em.

There's a small blue pill that restores one's will
by straightening out one's willy
"Seek Doctor's help... four hours or more"
Now there's some wood that's silly!

Lumestra will put me fast asleep
and keep me deep and dreaming.
I wonder in that darkened place
is help for my rhyme scheming.

Put down that butt, that coffin nail
and smoke inhaling antics
with their new aid, my quit won't fail
I'll put my faith in Chantix.

They say that I will think a hex
when there's ache deep in my bones
But I'll chase the spell with Celebrex
and skip arthritis' moans and groans.

I still could blink but couldn't wink
at parties and grand bashes.
no need to think or turn to drink
Latisse restores eye lashes.

When gastric distress gives unrest
no amateur could un-tumble
Align's the Pro biotic best
to quieten my rumble.

When it grows there on my lip
and I wish I could achieve a
cure for cold sores so unhip
blah-blah blah-blah Abreva.

My show's long gone but there still plays
advice for all my woes
Cymbalta for that deep down phase
and so and so, and so it goes.

Abilify will help me fly
away from my depression
but if these ads continue on
there's sure to be regression.