AND SO, HERE I AM AGAIN

Emails have been answered, Facebook scanned -  too many Salons and UpWorthys, too many Shares from others, too few actual people messages - ball scores noted, news perused and lo, wouldn't you know, I am ready to blog...sort of.

What I mean is the decks are cleared. Cleared of distractions and mental bric a brac.  You know, the usual things decks are cluttered with.  I am now ready, willing and...not quite ready to go.  I need the spark of inspiration that precedes action.  (It is a spark, isn't it?  I may actually require something larger, a bolt perhaps or a jolt. Or a big, freaking blow upside the head of my imagination.) Hang on a minute, will ya?

It's coming, coming, coming and HERE IT IS:

I got stung on the back of the neck by a bee the other day.  I had taken the dog outside so he could offload his cargo and when we returned to the house the bee came along for the ride on the back of my neck.  I was unaware that it was a stow away. (I used "cargo" and "stow away" to tie this in with that clearing the decks naval metaphor I used earlier. You got that, right?) The bee waited until I was seated comfortably before alerting me to its presence by inserting its stinger in the heretofore mentioned back of my neck.  I did what any highly intelligent human with a Nobel Prize winning intellect would do in the same situation. This action, of course, might also have been duplicated by a near brain dead imbecile on life support but let's go with the first category for the hell of it.  I swatted the bee away.  It landed, wounded and ungracefully on the floor where it began to crawl about.  Now here's the interesting part.  (From the crowd a cry of, "I sure hope so Doc because you haven't got there thus far.) (I replied, "I like the use of 'thus.' Very clever to avoid two 'so's in the same sentence.) Because I am blinder than a bat with a little white cane I could tell the critter on the carpet was a bug, but I didn't know of what sort.  It could have been a spider or it could have been a tiny alien from another planet here to implant the eggs of its species in the nearest host.  To identify the creature and thus determine its intent (See I can use thus too) I grabbed a magnifying glass I keep nearby for just such occasions, stooped over the beast and said, "Ah ha! It's a bee of the bumble variety" in my best Sherlockian voice which, if I may say so, is quite good.  I then proceded to slay the beast and the case was closed.

Or was it?  Two days have passed and the lump on the back of my neck remains.  Is it possible that an alien DISGUISED as a bee might have left a colony that is even now working its way toward my brain?  And if so. wouldn't some say that was a good thing?

Probably.



 

I'VE BEEN AWAY

I've been away. my mind engaged elsewhere, the pen absent my hand, the keyboard unviolated. I haven't been stuck or blocked or any of those circumstances that occur to people who actually write with their brain functioning. I've been testing - not quite consciously - how people pass the day who don't spend a chunk of it sitting around letting their mind conjure stuff it wouldn't otherwise. Apparently, if my experience is any barometer, they watch more television.  This is an action, if it can be called such, that leads to couch potato status or, in my case, arm chair potato status.  I don't wish to knock this, in many people's minds, elevated status, but I am, if nothing else, a man of action.  Of course "if nothing else" leaves room for doubt which in this case may be a room the size of a football stadium, so I will clarify by defining action as any endeavor that takes place while the television is off.  Among these I include napping.  I am an Olympic Class napper.  When, however, the nap is concluded, I find there is still time to engage in activities that don't require turning the telly on.  I can't think of any at the moment, but I am sure they exist.  Wait! There is one that comes to mind and by mind I mean a consciousness of some sort.  It's that odd thing I used to do on a near daily basis in which I put words down in an almost orderly fashion and called them a blog.  Is it possible I could do that again?  I believe I will give it a go, see what happens.