Sunday, September 30, 2007

Familiar Phrases

"We're on our feet moving towards the door." Most of you know that this is the expression I use to motivate Woowoo Charly and any and all of my daughters to actually leave somewhere after we have stood to do so. For reasons I am not privy to, all of those guilty parties suddenly find more to say when standing to depart than in all the hours of visitation that preceded the now hoped for (by me) departure. How come is that?

Heeeere we goooooo, moving towards the door.

I am proud to say that despite it's high failure percentage - the women seldom take the hint - my pet phrase has now become part of the American lexicon. All of my sons and sons-in-law and many of my male friends now use this simple suggestion to, at best, subliminally encourage their mates or dates to get a move-on and, at worst, annoy them into action. One must be careful with the latter for fear the ride home will be fraught with consequences. Despite good intentions like not over staying our welcome and getting home at a decent hour or actually trying not to grow roots or freeze into a solid by the front door while watching clutches of women animatedly discuss some topic that only came to the fore at this very last minute, "moving towards the door" must be used tactfully and judiciously else the aforesaid consequences may come into play. Despite this potential downside, I still find the phrase worth the risk of use. Sometimes when you go for it on fourth down, the play (or ploy) just flat works.

Other expressions of mine that I've always liked are "another day, another doughnut" usually uttered at coffee break, a thing in retirement I don't miss not having. The break that is, not the doughnut. The doughnut is sorely missed. And, "I will do it (one thing or another)barring unforeseen circumcisions" is usually good for a laugh the first time I lay it on a new listener.

Of course Norman Mailer says "repetition is the death of creativity." Thing is, I've heard him say it three times.

That being said, what are "all you alls" favorite throw away lines? I'm on the need to know basis.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Return of the Blog

"Return of the Blog", "Revenge of the Blog", "The Blog Walks Among Us", Godzilla VS. the Blog", and Abbott and Costello Meet the Blog will all be showing at a theatre near you if you are not careful. "Be very wary of what you wish for" my grandmother said to me just after my grandfather choked on a chicken bone and she'd found out he'd left all his loot to the charity down the street. Charity White was her full name, but everybody just called her Jugs. Blog reading might have dire consequences as well. Who can really say? I'm just bringing it up because so many people have written requesting the return of Monkeymind, okay two, and for all I know they may already be infected or addicted or have fallen prey to the insidious persuasion that comes with good blogs and bad TV. Fair warning is offered here. You could be reading classic writers like Sabbatini, both Rory and Gabrielle, if only they hadn't played golf and tennis instead of taking pen in hand or even perusing the deeper works of the lesser minds of the greater metropolitan area. Yeah that. But Nooooo. You want to read blogs. Alrighty then. I will accommodate starting first thing Monday.

Of course here in Panama when someone says a thing will be done on Monday, it's good to remember they never actually say which Monday.