Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Hard Porn

Und zo vee begin again mein liebschkins.

I have no idea why I wrote that, but then, I have no idea why I write anything. (Some of you are probably thinking, "I have no idea" would have been 'nuff said.)

So anyway, I begin anew in a more understandable idiom, if by understandable I mean those with multiple degrees in abnormal psychology may have a clue, I was having the urge to type one word after the other and lacking the will power to resist, here I am doing that very thing. (Will Power, by the way, would be a good name for a super hero.)

The next paragraph only applies to people whose consciousness houses both pro football and famous works of Broadway theater.

This thought crossed my mind as I watched Tim Tebow being interviewed as the newest New York Jet: Tim is an incarnation of Elwood P. Dowd from the play, "Harvey." Elwood says something along these lines in the play: I learned early on that I was not very smart, so I decided the next best thing was to be really really nice. (Not a direct quote.) If reading football defenses is an indication of intelligence than Tim Tebow is really, really nice.

Okay, now I feel bad because how can I disparage someone who is really, really nice. I mean, I like Elwood P. Dowd. I like his pukka too. I wonder if Tebow has one of those. And truthfully, I myself can only read defenses when everybody in them stands perfectly still. Yeah, I know, I've got to start working at being really, really nice.

And in politics, that other American fascination that ranks a distant second to the Summer Olympics in events the dent the minds of U.S. citizens every four years, there is a presidential election looming a shade earlier than the end of the world Mayan style. To hear the Re Pub Lycans (Werewolves who didn't get enough to drink at their first pub visit) tell it, the end of the world, actually, will occur if Obama gets the "Four More Years, Four More Years" that is the political chant version of the "USA, USA" we will all be hearing from the London Olympics coming from a television set near you soon.

Really. Have we not heard this all before? Didn't dem O'crats predict the same dire demise before Reagan and Bush 2, the terrible sequel to Bush 1? Yup, they did and yet here we are. It could be worse.

And, finally, the title of this blog for those of you waiting to get to the good stuff, was just a ruse to get your attention. But... because I am a really, really nice guy who doesn't want to disappoint his readers I'll add one more paragraph.

As Timmie's hands slid in behind the warm, firm buttocks of of his teammate, awaiting the sudden jolt of excitement the follows this traditional foreplay, his mind held but one thought. Is that a Cover Two, Base Four or Man to Man. Jesus help me, I have no idea.

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