Resolutions

Tomorrow, the second day of January, that's the bigee. It's foolish to try'n start your life changing resolutions on the first of January. The first of January is a holiday. Why would anyone want to spoil a perfectly good holiday by eschewing this that and the other evil thing that dogs them or add a healthful regimen in the middle of a party. Tomorrow, I say, tomorrow is the day for changes. Either that or the day after.

My own changes are the same old tired batch of resolutions I make every year. Write more, drink less, eat less, exercise more, practice guitar regularly, get the stumps pulled out, slop the hogs, milk the chickens, see the ball, follow through, be present, respect my elders, turn off unnecessary lights, get a good night's sleep, travel the world teaching kindness, humility and how to be Number 1, get a hole in one or at least in two, shimmy like my sister Kate, dance with the stars, make sure my shoes are shined and my nails are clipped, spend Tuesdays with Morrie or Larry maybe Moe, eat more vegetables and fruit, ask my doctor if Viagra is right for me, let the sun shine in, walk the plants, water the dogs, be-bop-a-lula, fly the friendly skies, get the lead out, learn more Spanish, swear less or more colorfully, read only good stuff, do the macarena and the locomotive, decline taking a cabinet position, get out more, spend more time at home, hike, bike, badmitten, mow the lawn, maintain the car, prevent forest fires, learn from my mistakes, put my toys away, brush regularly, beat the band, don't rain on parades, say a little prayer, whistle while I work, inka-dinka-do every chance I get and, of course, zippedy-doodah whenever my doodah is open, just to name a few.

Not today though, tomorrow.