Golf

When Tony and Carm retired, they, like most new Jerseysians sought a warmer climate. Florida was already too crowded and, besides, many, of Tony's less than friendly associates did business there. Not wanting to take on the challenge of a foreign language, Tony and Carm decided to head west. Tony had taken up golf quite seriously in his later years, so a place where there were lots of courses was a prerequisite. Phoenix, Arizona is where they finally touched down and began their new lives. Phoenix had dozens of golf courses within easy driving distance of their scaled down, but still impressive domicile.

A couple of quiet years went by and Tony, who had been a "mover-and-shaker" in his day, was feeling restless and decided he needed to get a piece of the local action. He called up a few of his old goombadas and proposed a plan. Several of these good fellas were also golfers, so they jumped at the chance to be part of Tony's latest brain-storm. They were somewhat hesitant about the risk of a start up plan involving for them, a fresh type of occupation; one they knew nothing about. Most of them had at one time or another been in the business of removing garbage and, uh, occasionally other things, so when Tony proposed that they merge their old knowledge with their new love of golf, they all quickly chipped in the monies necessary to make the deal happen.

And this is why... this very weekend, if you tune in your area's CBS station at the right time, you can watch "The Waste Management Phoenix Open Golf Tournament." Tony and Carmelo Soprano and friends are keeping a lower profile these days, so you probably won't catch them on camera. If, however, you are in the neighborhood, you can stop by the Bada Bing Hospitality Tent and have a glass of Chianti on the house. One word of advice though. Don't say anything negative about Tony's putting.

And the girls dancing with the tent poles? Leave them alone, they're working.


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Best line of the week: From RTGFKAR. In a discussion of right-to-life vs. choice, he said, "Life starts at deception."