Seagal and Zombies.

The meek may inherit the earth, but in the meantime I have noticed that people cut in front of them in lines.

I saw another Steven The House That Walks Seagal movie the other day. I can't seem to resist them. This one had production costs ranging in the dozens of dollars and concerned a post-apocalyptic world where zombies roamed the streets because, I suppose, cars didn't work anymore so why bother with sidewalks. A goodly number of the life-challenged creatures had also made their way into a hospital where they periodically leaped upon unsuspecting living people who were hiding out there. The people either fled or died but in both cases they screamed a lot to swelling horror movie music. Fortunately, I am a Ninja quality remote control user and I was able to instantly lower the volume to less than blood curdling levels. Curdled blood looks like cherry yogurt gone south in case you didn't know. They'll be none of that in my house. Outside the hospital, amidst the roaming zombies, was a group of people who called themselves "The Hunters." This group included the mandatory black guy and woman, The Great Wall of Seagal and a couple of other guys thrown in to be done in. Armed with guns and swords, they felt it was their role in life to rid the world of people who were already dead but hadn't yet noticed. We the rapt and completely attentive, apart from getting up to get more wine, snacks, surf the web and check our email, viewers also learn that there is a military compound where plans are being made to bomb the zombie infested area. A civilian - who was either a scientist or a Liberal - begs the commander for more time. Time that is, for the Hunters to rescue the people in the hospital. He doesn't get it, the planes are dispatched and everything gets blown to hell. Well, not quite everything. A few people, women and children of course - it's good to be one of them in this kind of flick, but risky in slasher movies - are saved at the cost of all the Hunter's lives except Seagal. At picture's end he even refuses to leave with the truck sent to pick up the post bombing survivors. Instead he says something manly like, I'm a hunter, I've got a job to do, and then walks off into the darkness, alone, one man against the world...of zombies. I tell ya, Dudes and Dudettes, there was a tear in my eye as he did so. I choked down the urge to holler "Shane. Shane. Come back Shane." but it was too late. He was gone. And besides that, his name wasn't Shane.

A note for the few people who will understand it: Large parts of the movie and even the personalities of some of the characters seemed taken from the DC Comics series, "The Walking Dead."