It's True, They Sucked Rocks

I hate to see a Monday pass without having posted a new blog. Writing something first thing Monday morn sets the tone for the rest of the week; gets it off to a good start, so to speak.

The Denver Broncos SUCKED ROCKS yesterday and I just wanted to throw things at the TV screen.

How's that for tone?

I've read that there are more instances of spousal abuse after football games than at any other time during the week. Hold on a minute while I go beat up Woowoo Charly.

@@#%&^*$#%$^%^^%%^#&%*^%$#%#$#@$@!%$$%$%#%#$!@%$#^&^%#$^&$%#@%!%#^&*#%@$@!@#%^

Okay, she bloodied my lip, kicked me in the knee and put me in a step over toe hold that made me scream she's my daddy. I've got to stop reading stuff like that.

I was happy to see Michelle (The Big Wheezy) Wie, birdie the eighteenth and win her first LPGA tournament before she died of old age. I mean the girl is twenty already. That brightened my Sunday a little bit after watching the Broncos ineptitude. (Ineptitude is a fancy way of saying SUCKED ROCKS that I'm using to keep from repeating myself.)

Yesterday the Denver Broncos SUCKED ROCKS. (Oops, I can't seem to stop.)

There were other sporting events yesterday I'm sure. For instance, somewhere in Spain some guys put numbers on their chests, donned silly helmets and raced on bicycles. Or maybe it was Italy. My new pal Joe can tell you all about it. This, however, does not take away from the seemingly ever present new knowledge that the Broncos SUCKED ROCKS yesterday!

(That's it, take deep breaths, count from ten to one backwards and calm yourself. Better? Now tell us more.)

In other news, Jesus returned yesterday, riding a glorious long maned white stallion just as predicted in Revelation and other well read texts like USA Today and The Bayonne Inquirer. Behind him were heaven's minions and they were making short work of sinners throughout the Asian, African, and European continents. Included among the slain were bicyclists whose only sin was wearing goofy shorts. Although it was clear that Jesus and pals were working their way towards the western hemisphere and should arrive sometime early Tuesday, nobody cared... because... the Broncos SUCKED ROCKS yesterday.