Vote For Me 4

I've always liked the bald eagle as a national symbol, it's regal and majestic and we need regal and majestic once in awhile. Once in another while though, we need warm and cuddly so I am proposing a basket of puppies as an alternate national symbol to be used on days when visiting dignitaries are in town. It will make them feel good, relax their guard a little and make them more open to our suggestions. I'm thinking Beagle puppies at the moment, they're cute, but mutt pups might be more appropriate for a country of people as mixed as we are. We will all get to vote on the breed as soon as I am elected.

The issue of church and state has come up and I want to say there is no issue. The two will be separate. In fact the two will be so separate they won't be able to see each other with the Hubble telescope. One will have nothing to do with the other. Even my own church, The First Church of The Blessed Sacramental Holy Marys of the Virgin Pentecostal Zen Sniffing Catholic Buddhists On High will have nothing to do with government. Religion is there to control people and make a buck. Government, well at least my government, will be there to protect people, preserve the arts and make golf more affordable. The two will not cross paths. Spirituality, however, defined as "a sense of god" - which, I'm told by a former President is also the definition of orgasm - will be permitted so long as you keep it to yourself and don't do it in the Oval Office.

And speaking of formerPresidents, there is one who shall remain nameless because a lot of people still don't like him, who managed to take on the worst deficits in our country's history, not counting today's, and not only balance the national budget during his term but to leave office with a a big fat surplus. I forget, tell me again why we don't like him? Anyway, I'm going to get he and his team back on the economic job. I don't know the numbers just yet, but I can promise this: Minimum wage will go up. Maximum wage will go down.

Vote for me.