Friday, March 30, 2007

Questions From Proust Revisited

...LOWEST DEPTHS OF MISERY? Snowman on a par three. That's an eight for you poor, miserable people who have never learned to play golf and have, thus, never experienced real life and think being below par means not feeling well.

...YOU LIKE TO LIVE? A weekend at the Playboy Mansion would probably be enough.

...IDEA OF EARTHLY HAPPINESS? Being as one with the great WHATEVER.

...FAULTS MOST INDULGED? Faults? What faults? Oh sure, the San Andreas.

...FAVORITE HEROES OF FICTION. Nick and Nora Charles. They had great clothes and strong livers.

...FAVORITE CHARCTERS IN HISTORY? Lincoln, De Soto, Pontiac. If you were important AND a swell fella, you got your name on a car. That's why nobody drives a Hitler.

...FAVORITE HEROINES OF FICTION? Those are like girls, right? Hmmm. Xena, Warrior Princess, Barbarella and Brigit Bardot's Babette.

...FAVORITE PAINTER? Sherman Williams.

...FAVORITE MUSICIAN? How can you choose from among the greats...Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Elvis? Too hard to decide. Okay, Haile Berry. She plays, right?

...QUALITY ADMIRED IN A MAN? The ability to pick up a bar tab.

...QUALITY ADMIRED IN A WOMAN? For no discernable reason they seem to like men. That's a good quality. Also, they look great jumping up and down in slow motion.

...FAVORITE VIRTUE? Mine? Yours? Random? If you say the word virute fast and loud someone else will say guzhundeit. Not being judgmental. (In my case that's "having no judgment.")

...FAVORITE OCCUPATION ? Pimp? No, just kidding. Watching football while smoking a good cigar, having a drink and a tasty snack, reading a good book and getting a ... I am a seven, afterall.

...HAVE LIKED TO BE? For one day? A beautiful woman. For a lifetime? Taller.

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