Tiger Tiger Burning Bright

I watched Tiger Woods being Tiger Woods yesterday, a thing he does better than almost everyone. I say almost because, like MLK I have a dream. And in my dream there is a guy who looks a lot like me kicking Tiger's patootie all over the Valle Escondido Golf Course. "Take that Tiger" I say as I roll in yet another 25 footer. Truth is Tiger could beat me teeing off with a coke bottle - a thing Trevino used to do when playing with amateurs - and putting with a baseball bat...or vice versa. Still, I have that dream.

None of that, however, is the reason Tiger comes to mind on this shiny Monday morning. What really captured my attention yesterday and lingered on my consciousness along with the song "Baby Come To Me" by Patti Austin and James Ingram which I recently downloaded to my Ipod, was the gushing the announcers did over Tiger's daily workout schedule. "Incredible" they said. "Unbelievable" they went on. "Did you ever do anything like that?" they asked each other. "Not even for one day" Johnny Miller the analyst relied.

"Give me a break" was what I said.

Tiger's schedule, if I remember correctly and I doubt I'm far off, goes something like this: He gets up at six a.m. and works out with weights for ninety minutes. After that he has breakfast and then he hits golf balls for awhile, putts for awhile and then plays nine holes of golf. He then has lunch, followed by hitting more golf balls, putting again and then playing another nine holes of golf. He finishes off his "work" day with another half hour on the putting green.

Now I realize this must seem an overly arduous day to the slugs sitting on their butts in the announcer's booth, but let's be serious ladies and gentlemen; Tiger has a nice workout in the gym every morning and then PLAYS GOLF ALL FREAKING DAY! I don't know a single person who has ever hoisted a pitching wedge who wouldn't swap their miserable day at the office or turned in their tools for Tiger's regimen! I mean, I'm RETIRED and it doesn't seem half bad to me!

So get a grip word jockeys in the booth, and remember there are real people out there listening to you.

Okay, rant over.

Good to have Tiger back being Tiger. I mean he is SO GOOD I don't know why he keeps dodging me.