Good Old Days Football

I woke up with this thought: Monsoon. Soon Hell! It's here already!

I watched a little preseason football last night and my mind drifted back to my own gridiron days. The top team in the league back then was the Nutley Neanderthals, nicknamed The Low Brows, and going into our game with them, we, the Livingston Pithecanthropus Erectus Dysfunction were hampered in our preparations by tropical storms that forced us to practice indoors where darkness and low cave ceilings prevented us from using the forward pass. Our Hairyback, Grorg, had developed a strong right arm by dragging his strapping girlfriend about and he could throw the old pigskin a mile. Of course, the pig was still in its skin in those days but they didn't squeal much. It was better, after all, then being dinner. I was Grorg's favorite receiver that year as I had developed exceptional speed running away whenever trouble appeared. I was also blessed with good hands as our head cheerleader, Rump, could attest to. I could catch anything thrown my way and together with Grorg we formed a formidable duo. Not being able to practice, though, was really cramping our style and our chances of upsetting the Neanderthals seemed less and less likely with every bolt of lightning and clap of thunder. Their hunched over bodies gave them great leverage against the running game while our ability to stand upright and see over them was perfectly suited for the passing game. We had to be able to throw the pig successfully or we had no chance.

Do I really want to go on with this?

Nah.

Today is Viernes El Trece here in Panama which is very similar to Friday the Thirteenth wherever you may be reading this. On Woowoo Charly's home planet it is Blingatho Florgan, but it means the same thing. Even there, the date is rumored to be unlucky but Charly says that's a lot of borgelblatz. To be safe though, I recommend carrying lucky things with you throughout the day; things like horseshoes and Irishmen. These have been known to be useful against luck gone bad but not against chicken gone bad. Stay away from the chicken.

I have to go now. I've been shot with a tranquilizer dart and I'm feeling very sleeeeeee.