Dream House

"Today we are going to Daveed to look at sinks and toilets and showers and stuff," said Woowoo Charly eyes all atwinkle. "Aren't you excited?"

Excited was not exactly the word that best described my feeling for the endeavor, but I did muster up and make the trip. We went to places named Elmec, ARC Mandarin, Cochez y CIA, (good to see the agency is going retail)and EM, Everything for the Home. We also had pizza at Tamburelli's, clearly the highlight of the day apart from finding that $4,899 shower stall unit that had everything from what looked like masturbatory devices to a small television, but alas, was $4,897 dollars more than we want to spend. How clean do we have to be anyway? Besides, we are not building our dream house here - those are for people with bottomless pockets - we are building a comfortable place to live with a nice view where either the buffalo or Gussers can roam and the skies are not cloudy all day.

In order to build a dream home, besides the money thing, I would actually have to have one, a dream that is. A dream about a perfect house. Readers of this blog know my night dreams run more to the surreal and my day dreams don't last long enough to get a handle on. There goes one now. Wait! Here's another and I've got it. My dream house would be a Fun House. It would have a half court basketball court, a movie theatre, a two lane bowling alley, an indoor putting and chipping green, an outdoor driving range, maybe even a couple of golf holes, an exercise room, a wet bar, a swimming pool with heated water, a steam room and ... okay, I'm still fifteen years old, so what? It would also have a nice library with a couple of dark oak desks and several comfortable leather arm chairs encircling a fireplace and nearby there would be scotch and cognac in crystal decanters available to drink from snifters while reading a book and puffing a good cigar whose smoke would rise into an overhead air purifier. I may be fifteen, but I'm a darn sophisticated fifteen. And there you have it. Add in anything I may have forgotten that's available in the Playboy Mansion, say, bedrooms, kitchen, underground grottoes, and toss in a few things from Disneyland like bumper cars and voila, my dream house complete.

We didn't find very many of these things in Daveed yesterday, but we did locate some darn nice bathroom faucets. I look at that as a good start.