Baseball And The Enneagram

Here's a capsule summary and some nicknames for the nine types of the Enneagram to help those unfamiliar with the subject to follow along when I monkeymind over to the nine positions on a baseball team. These summations lack any sort of depth and are about the equivalent of me explaining baseball by saying here's a bat, a ball, a glove, a base etc. The Enneagram is an ancient, complex, deeply profound and spiritually interesting endeavor. In other words, just the kind of thing I like to screw with.

1. The Perfectionist. The Reformer. This type seeks perfection in all things and is, consequently, hard working and often driven to make things "right."

2. The Helper. The Caretaker. People who have a need to be needed. They are happiest when serving.

3. The Achiever. The Motivator. To be successful in everything they do is the bottom
line.

4. The Individualist. The Tragic Romantic. People striving to be different or special. They walk to the beat of a different drummer.

5. The Investigator. The Observer. Always in search of more information. They wish to be omniscient.

6. The Loyalist. The Stalwart. Safety and security are principal goals. They flourish in team situations.

7. The Generalist. The Enthusiast. Happiness is their primary goal. Often confuse fun with happiness.

8. The Boss. The Leader. Wants to be in control and the center of attention.

9. The Mediator. The Comforter. Sees all points of view but is in search of their own.

So there you have that and now you understand everything, right? Me neither.

Alrighty then. With no further ado or adon't, here's my Enneagram baseball team.

Playing catcher and batting in cleanup for the Enneagram Philosophers is Number 3, Joe Achiever. Catchers are the on field coaches. They call the pitches, they run the show. I want my 3 in a position to be successful.

Pitching and batting ninth or not at all, depending upon which league we are playing in, is Number 8, Joe Intimidator. I want my 8 in a position to impose his will. A thing he likes to do.

At first base and leading off is Number 1, Joe Perfect. I want my 1 at first where perfection is most needed. Everything thrown to him must be caught.

At second, and yes there is a symmetry here, I've got Number 2, Joe Helper and he bats second as well. I want a good double play combination and a guy who can help by sacrificing and using the hit and run.

Shortstop is the infield hub and I've got Number 7, Joe Energiser Bunny, my high energy guy holding down the position and batting fifth. He needs to be in on the most action so his mind doesn't wander.

Over at third I'm playing Number 4, Joe Artist our team's specialist, because third is like no other infield position and it takes an unusually gifted athlete to play there. I've got him batting sixth for no special reason.

Centerfield is manned (this is a guy's team) by Number 6, Joe Teammate. Joe will do what it takes to fit in and help the team win. He's batting third for that very same reason.

In Right I've got Number 5, Joe Thinker Not Dooer, because it's a position with usually less excitement, but when the action does come, Joe will make the right decisions. Number 5 bats seventh, because something about a five in the seventh position sounds right.

Playing left is Number 9, Mr. Amenable, because that's where we all agreed he should play and he said it's okay with him. He'll also be the team captain and will bat eighth.

Designated Hitter is Joe Anynumber, but usually a 3. They just like winning so damn much. He'll bat third or fourth and push everyone else down a spot in the batting order.

My manager will also be a 9 because I want everyone in the locker room to get along and 9's are best suited to make that happen.

I could also make a case, and this is a little more woowoo, for starting at first base and calling it position 1, then go around the infield as positions 2, 3 and 4 and with the outfield as 5,6 and 7. All with their Enneagram number corresponding to their baseball number. The pitcher and catcher would be 8 and 9 respectively. Hmmm, I like that a lot. Oh well, too late to change my mind, it's on to football.

My football team will be composed of all 8's except at quarterback where the 3 lives. The 7's will be over with the cheerleaders.