Wisdom and Golf

It is true that with age there is wisdom. It is also true that with age there is a terrific loss of distance off the tee. Now I ask myself, how often does this wisdom come into play and do I really need so much? And would not regaining 50 yards off the tee be worth more in the long run? Here's what I propose: I'll give back some of my wisdom for each ten yards added to my drives.

Knowing when to come in out of the rain. Yup, I've got that down. However, I live in Panama where it is not that unpleasant to get caught out on rainy days. You just get wet, not cold. I'm trading in that knowledge.

I'm now hitting the ball 210.

Never bite the hand that feeds you. It seems unlikely that I would do this under any circumstances so I'm giving up that bit of malarkey for another thirty feet.

Now I'm hitting 220 and clearing the creek on the fourth hole with yards to spare.

A stitch in time saves nine. I don't sew.

I'm hitting 230.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of... No, wait, I'm keeping that one.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Yeah, right, I use that a lot. In fact this pun is more useful. You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

I'm hitting 240.

And finally, because in truth I never have hit much beyond 250, never look a gift horse in the mouth. Okay that's cheating, because I don't really know what it means. Let's go instead with, give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat forever. Out-a here, bye bye, don't need it.

Oh Baby! Did you see that drive! That puppy is way out there!