Blogger's Block

Jogging is easier than blogging. All you have to do is lean the top half of your body forward. When you reach the point where gravity wants to pull it down, the bottom half of your oh-my-god-I'm- falling self will spring into action and step forward to prevent your nosedive. Keep leaning, keep stepping and look at you, you're jogging. Piece a cake.

There are no tricks to get blogging. I tried just putting one word after another and it came out bedraggle floor me dangle porche on pretzel high, so that doesn't really work. I also tried leaning my top half forward while sitting down and my nose tapped out a series of n's which, although it is a nice letter, doesn't really say much. No, apparently you have to have a thought in your head to start blogging and that, of course, is one of my three failings. The others are not being tall or born rich. Tall, wealthy people with thoughts in their heads don't feel the need to blog. They pay short people to blog for them. So that leaves me, barring the occasional event that screams write about me, like "101 Hottest Bodies" or a day spent picking a nose, with having to come up with a topic each time I sit to blog. And I have to do this, you will remember, without a thought in my head. This is not an easy task like the aforementioned keeping from falling down. This is Herculean in scope. This is The Jets in '69, The U.S Hockey Team in, you know, whatever year that was, and other grand stuff like the time George W. Bush said something coherent. It's a real challenge.

Did I mentionI hate challenges. There's no need for challenges. Who thought up the idea of challenges anyway? Probably one of those bored old Greeks lying around the hot tub in ancient Athens. "I say Hiccupulus, what about you and me seeing who can throw a spear the farthest?"
"Not now, Dementium, I'm trying to blog."

I'm not complaining, really. I'm just stuck this morning. I could write about the things that are in my head in lieu of thoughts, but then I would be into the realm of space time continuum. Okay, mostly space, but I do know that time continuum one minute after another. Or I could ask my wife. She always has a thought in her head. Unfortunately, before she will tell me what it is, she has to have my full attention which I can't give while blogging or watching Bronco highlights from 1996. So that's out.

All of which leaves me with just one option as far as I can tell. I'll skip today and try again tomorrow.