In Search of Comfort

Last night while sitting around eating one of our comfort foods, chile, and sipping our comfort drink, wine, while wearing our comfort clothes, jeans, Woowoo Charly and I decided that what the world needed was some comfort kick-ass. We are not violent people really, we'd rather have a comfort chat, but there are occassions when words fail and idiocy reigns and a comfort blow upside the head to a Tom Delay or an Ann Coulter seems as natural as wanting a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies. Nothing personal, mind you, just stress relief. Here perhaps, is where cloning could actually come in handy. So many people would be lining up for their comfort whup-ass of Donald Rumsfeld or even Donald Trump for that matter, that hundreds would have to be made. Just think what the Derek Jeter and A-Rod clone sales would be in Boston. I'm not sure they could be cranked out fast enough. Presidential approval polls would then be completely simplified. The only number needing to be counted is how many people beat the crap out of the Prez last week. Seems fair to me. After all the Bushes have each had their own comfort invasions. Too bad Dubya didn't quit after Afghanistan, but no he had to reach for that extra comfort cookie Iraq and now he, and we unfortunately, are geting drubbed on a regular basis.
Personal confort clubbing clones would also be a way to measure you own recent assholishness. "Just read your blog Monkeymind and I took you out to the woodshed...twice." Or, in some cases, it might even be the tonic to restore rationality. "You know, after beating you pulpy I was restored to my comfort level and in retrospect, much of what you said makes sense. I've just given your clone a comfort t-bone for his eye."

I think this is a good idea, except for the clone part, I was reaching there, and good ideas are comfort ideas. Maybe just punching bags with assorted slip on personalities would do the trick and nobody would actually get hurt. I know a Bush bag on my balcony would do my wife a world of good and any Con weather Neo or Oldo should get a comfort thrashing at least once a week.

I feel better now. Thanks for your attention. You have just read a comfort blog.