Drug Free Blogging

Most bloggers are once a week-ers or now and then-ers, posting blogs when it suits their fancy. Wimps. We REAL bloggers flex our mind muscles and pump our iron brain cells on a nearly daily basis. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, he's beefed up on steroids, but it's not true. All my tests come back clean. I don't even use The Cream in my coffee or tea. It's my strict workout regimin that gives me the edge and keeps me putting up the big numbers, 75 blogs to date, and the long words, extraordinariamente. (About here, all the non- sportsfans are scratching their head and thinking, what? To them I suggest, remember the words of Winston Churchill, who said when asked why he read the sport section first, "Because there is listed mankind's accomplishments. The rest of the paper recounts its failures." He also said something about fighting them on the shores and in the air and under the bed, but that wasn't about sports so you don't have to remember it.) Yes, every morning like clockwork I roll out of the sack my wife has tied me up in, and - Wait, who is clockwork and why does he roll out of his sack every morning? These are the questions that torment us down through the ages - and throw on my sweats in preparation for my workout. I then stumble down the stairs, open the door to the great outdoors and...let the dog out. For me it's over to the kitchen to brew up something stimulating, because stimulus is not only something fun to say and probably a Greek name, it's needed to be a daily blogger. I then retrace my stumbles back up the stairs to my own personal internet cafe where I spend an hour or so reading first about The Sox latest losing streak and then the recounts of mankind's other failures. There's lots of those, especially since that Bush guy has been around, so this takes awhile. After that workout, jacked up on only natural stimulants like the beans we have found that we can crush into powder and pour scalding water over or the leaves we put in odd little bags to dunk in that scalding water, both in peparation for drinking the stuff! - a perfectly natural thing to do - I take to the playing field and begin to blog. Day after day. Like a REAL blogger. And I do it with a manly voice.

Oh that one about cake baking? Forget it. I was out sick that day. My wife wrote it.