Tales from David

Woowoo Charly withheld her approval as I loaded the weight bench, bar and weights into the back of the car. "Where are you going to put that thing?" she asked, and before I could respond she supplied a partial answer to her own question. "It's NOT going in the house." I've had half a mind to buy a set of weights for some time and half a mind is usually all I bring to any decision, so when our friend Bonnie pointed out the weights hanging around in front of a pawn shop, I had to make the grab before some other aspiring Jack LaLane beat me to them. "Don't worry," I said. I'll keep them on the patio for now and then out back when we move to the new house." Woowoo Chuck remained less than thrilled. "C'mon, I added, "if you don't have three or four abandoned pieces of exercise equipment laying about, you're not really trying." Oddly, this didn't seem to relieve her anxiety. Truth is, I am woefully out of shape, a thing that has only occurred once or twice in my adult life and then only after injury, illness or accident. Until the last half year I had always done SOMETHING to maintain at least a vestige of conditioning, a vestige being I could walk around the block without breathing hard, but now, although thin, I was getting a bit, what's a good word here?... soft. I had learned, to my own regret, that I could lose weight on the Sonnaffa Beach Diet without exercising. This was not a useful lesson. I needed to get back in the exercise groove and for that I needed motivation. The weight bench, I surmised, was just the right thing to supply that mo. Of course, as a veteran of many types of workout programs, I have learned that whenever one begins anew, it is best to start slowly. That being the case, today I will remove the weights from the car...slowly.

We were in David to visit our friend LJ who was in the hospital for tests. He was testing the hospital, they were testing him. LJ had gone to see his friendly neighborhood, sanctioned by the AMA, and I suppose, the PMA, witchdoctor to have his U.S, prescriptions rewritten and refilled. The doc put a stethoscope to his chest, threw a cup of bones on the table and sent LJ forthwith to Os-pee-tal Chiriqui. An elevated BP and racing pulse can have that consequence. We were there the next day to see LJ and check his test results. He had gotten a C which means "average man who is going to die prematurely if he doesn't quit smoking, cut back on the booze and start exercising. I told LJ I had bought a set of weights and although that didn't cheer him much, I felt a lot better.

Our other notable purchase made on this David excursion, was a new dog bed for Gustavo. For those of you who might think a set of weights for an old skinny guy a frivolous buy, consider this: Gus sleeps with us...on our bed. As Woowoo Charly threw the faux sheepskin lined dog sleeper big enough for a bear atop the weights in the back of the car, I was forced to say, "That thing is NOT going in the house." This time she WAS amused. Can't blame her. I'm a funny guy.