Novel or Blog?

Maybe I should write a novel. A novel novel. One that includes great universal themes, biblical allegory, symbolism, mythic quests, Shakespearean drama, thinly disguised celebrities as protagonists, humor, tragedy and a happy ending. Yeah, maybe I should do that.

Nah. Too easy. I'm sticking with real literature, the blog.

Besides, the blog has all that stuff. Universal theme? Life its own self. Biblical Allegory? What, you think I'm just writing about wine? Symbolism? I'm getting a meaningful tattoo. One with a whale spouting a peace sign enveloped in a mushroom shaped cloud. That should do it. Shakespearean drama? Easy. One round of golf. On any given day suicide is considered more than once. Thinly disguised celebs? By now everyone knows we are the retired Nick and Nora Charles and their dog Asta, right?
Humor? Have you seen my uncut for seven months hair lately? Tragedy? Have you seen my uncut for seven months hair lately? And a happy ending? Well, I'll let you know when I write the last blog. It's looking good so far.

The hard part about writing a novel is getting that first sentence right. I am reminded of "Moby Dick" in which the first line reads, "Call me Ishmael". Someone once pointed out that this was a really good opening because as it turned out that was in fact the guy's name.

After that, the first sentence of a novel, you get to the part that says The End. Between the two there is just a lot of filler so really, how hard can it be? The blog, on the other hand, requires a new topic almost every day. This is a true test of creativity. Well, that or one's bullshit staying power. Either way, a challenge to the writer.

That being said, nevertheless, albeit, someday...someday...I will write a novel. I just need a really good first sentence.