Toothache Remedies

I've had third degree burns, broken bones - back, leg, fingers, toes, nose - cuts needing multiple stitches and assorted other wounds, but none of those disasters hurt as much as several of the toothaches I have experienced periodically throughout my life. Last weekend's was the most recent example. It began sometime Friday evening and evolved rapidly into oral carnage by mid morning Saturday. I was by then in Agony which is not as some might think, a mythical Greek village, but rather a condition similar to that place where Christians and others suggest we will all go if we have been bad boys. I'm talking pain of the if you can't make it stop lop off my head and put it aside so the rest of me can get on with my life variety, which left me popping aspirin like cocktail peanuts when dinner is late to absolutely, positively, I'm talking not a whit of avail. It was then by chance and desperation that I opted to eschew the flakey white pills and chose instead Woowoo Charly's personal stash of Advil. In somewhat less than an hour after taking three of the candy coated M&M looking tablets, my pain was reduced from hysteria to I can live with that. Amazing. From that almost pain free moment until Monday morning at eight when I set forth for Doctor Arrosmena's dental office in Daveed, I merely scarfed two Advils every three hours and got on with all the important things I do which in this case consisted mostly of watching The British Open on the telly. Woowoo Charly, though sympathetic and supportive throughout my ordeal, quietly bemoaned her diminishing supply of Advil. Ibuprofin, the ingredieant that Advil consists of, is not readily available in these here parts.

The Advil commercial now over, I will get on with the story. There I was Monday morning rolling down the one and only highway to Daveed happily pain reduced with a plan to announce my emergencia to the dentist the moment he walked into his office. Well the best laid plans oft get gang banged and that was the case this day. Something was awry up ahead and the heretofore smooth flowing traffic abruptly stopped. I waited in this dead zone for most of an hour before realizing that the few cars coming from the opposite direction were simply people far ahead who had turned around and were going back. Forward movement in my direction was simply filling in the gaps they had created. I never did find out the exact cause of the stoppage but learned from an indian couple who were walking by that it had something to do with "agua", that being the only word from their explanation that I understood. So, the road is washed out, the bridge is gone, a biblical flood is rising from sea level or the indians wondered if I had a canteen, whatever, I decided to go back to Boquete. My Advil was wearing off.

I went to two clincs before being directed to one not ten minutes from our house. There I met Doctor Monica Sanjur, a women of perhaps thirty, whose wall plaque read "Cirujano Dentista (Dental Surgeon) and who smilingly announced, "no problem." Which it turned out, was the complete truth unless you consider having two teeth pried, pulled and yanked out with inadequate novacaine a problem. I was then given a prescription for an antibiotic to treat the infection the bad teeth had caused and was sent on my way drooling from numb lips, but a happy camper nevertheless. I could now stop taking Advil which, I have learned, could be harmful to one's liver and return to damaging it by drinking alcohol, the method God intended.

The cost of this dental adventure, apart from the Cumberland Gap in my denture which will have to be addressed later, was $45. I'll save that much in the popcorn that I can no longer eat. Well, not for awhile anyway.