Classic Monkeymind

If you can't be on time, be early.

Let's see. People? Dogs? Current events? Those mines are all played out. I have nothing to write but (thankfully) fiction.

Where to start?

Call me Doak. Call him Ishmael. That's his real name. Mine is made up because my real name, Blovarten, sounds too much like an Ian Fleming villain. Anyway, we're both on a ship captained by a weird one legged old sea salt named Rehab and we're in search of Whitey Ford, an equally old, demon possessed, New York Yankee pitcher from the Fifties who had died and was now serving his penance as a reincarnated whale, albeit a pin striped version. Whitey was still wily in his new fishy bod and just as adept at getting out of
tricky jams as he was in his earlier life. We had cornered him and almost corralled him a couple of times but the truth is that corners and corrals in the ocean are hard to maintain. Whitey slipped off the hook, so to speak, each time. Keep in mind here that we weren't out to do him in. We just wanted to catch him and put him in the big aquarium in Boston where he would be on display with Mickey Mantlemouse and Derek Jitters the dancing half man, half penguin, both of whom were also curiously pin striped and trying to work off their demonic possession in new incarnations. The people of Boston paid big bucks for captured Yankees in any form and Whitey would be a huge score if we could bring him in.

Rehab signaled Ishmael and me along with Quickypeg, our net thrower to his cabin for a conference. "Mateys," he said to us, "you all need more incentive. From now on nobody gets evening rum until the fish is in the boat."

Ish, Quicky and I huddled together upon hearing this and quickly agreed on a course of action. We shot Rehab. It was a mutiny for the bounty.

Truth is we were sick of sailing anyway, so we set a course for Africa and the heart of darkness to ditch the boat and head inland to find the former Yogi Berra who had been reincarnated as a pitchman for feminine hygiene products. The Boston bounty on his head was among the highest, but the strongest motivation for the hunt came from a California Angel who told us that by capturing Yogi we might be able to escape our own future destiny as reincarnated Yankees; a fate so dreadful that it brought but one thought to mind. The horror! The horror!

To be continued.

Not really.