Free the Pukka

I'm writing like the Dickens, not Charles, Eddie Dickens down the block. He writes a lot. Charles writes like this: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." Eddie and I write: "So, whads news wid youze." We like to call it sylin' but mostly we are just lame writers. Nevertheless, we do have fun at the old keyboard, especially Eddie who is either a pukka or a figment of my imagination. I'm going with pukka because it is more fun to say and because figment, which is usually pronounced fig mint, might be some kind of Arabian after dinner treat and a horrible one at that. I wonder though, how many imagination figments we have. I once counted up to nine, but then my pukka distracted me and we went off to romp in a meadow and I forgot the whole thing. By the way, romp is not only a fun word to say, romp romp romp, it is also a fun activity. I plan to romp at some point later this day and I hope you all do too.

Given the circumstances surrounding the arrest of Eddie Dickens, one would be remiss to accept the official version tendered by the authorities. There remain even unto this day so many unanswered questions that prosecution of the apprehended seems less than likely. There were no witnesses to verify the trumped up crime of Monkeymind abuse and the subsequent additional charge of resisting arrest and development of said Monkeymind has only now been brought to light and seems but a ploy the District Attorney is attempting to assure that something, anything, will bring a satisfactory conviction and conclusion to this case.

To all this I say, balderdash and poppycock, the latter of course being something achieved when smoking opium. Rise up in protest is my cry. The pukka must be saved else monkeyminds everywhere will be stilled and all that will remain for the common man and his close but not that close pal the uncommon man, are the carefully chosen and doled out by English teachers words of import like, you know, those of that other Dickens guy. Perish, I say, perish the thought. Or for that matter, any thought. Who needs thought? It's a hindrance I tell you. A hindrance. So rise up I say again and free the pukka! Free the pukka! Free the pukka!

Alrighty then. Now yer down wid it.