Plants and Other Creepy Things

The office window to my right is now totally, (can you say totally without feeling like a teenager? I can't), let's make it... completely, obscured as is a bedroom window by a creeping, climbing, thick leafed, crawling, densely bunched vine and flower plant that rustles ominously when the wind blows. I wonder if it was subliminally responsible for "Ketspaldigo." From outside it appears to be eating our west wall. I've noticed that when people come to visit us now they shun that side of the house. Even our fearless dogs hunt less frequently for mice and bugs at the west wall's base where the creepers begin. One adventurous branch has made it through the edge of the window and through the screen's border and is now leafing and flowering inside the house! Woowoo Charly thinks this is cool, but then she doesn't read quite the same books as I do.

On top of that, Angel Trumpets, or Queens of the Night as the flowers are known here, are draped over our new fence and hang limply down like strangulation victims. They couldn't look much deader. One, blossom, in fact, just fell to the ground as I watched. It's all kind of spooky if you ask me.

Can't imagine what I dreamed last night.

We are passing on our weekly public humiliation lesson at the golf course today in order to save the nearly one hundred bucks it costs so that we will have the funds available to buy a hot dog in NY. For a second dog and perhaps a root beer to go with it, we are planning to hoof around Manhattan until the Cash Cab picks us up and we can dazzle Ben Bailey to the tune of a couple grand or so. We figure we have all categories covered because if worse comes to worse we can phone Ramon for science questions and look to D and D for answers to queries like "what noted rapper sang, 'My hat's on crooked because my momma don't dress me.'" I already know who sang, "*(&*^^&%%#$&())(*&^#$&&&* the cops and your (&&%$%(^&^%$%$*&%^@%^^7 sister too. It was somebody named after an ice cream flavor.

Mattie just brought me a small dead snake, dropping it proudly at my feet. (Not kidding.) Instead of throwing it into the trash, I fed it to our window plant which scarfed it hungrily. (Okay, kidding.) (For now.)