Beach Daze

"God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to make them both work at the same time."___Robin Williams (This is a gratuitous quote that has nothing to do with the text that follows so don't get your hopes up.)

I sat outside in the dark for awhile last night contemplating the events of the day. Woowoo Charly had gone to bed with her book and RTGFKAR was engrossed in a cooking show, so I had the night to myself. I turned on the sprinkler to nurture our new grass, fired up a ceegar, poured a smidgen of Frangelica and dialed in 95.7 on the radio. It was cool enough out there on the patio that I wore a sweatshirt and a ball cap to fend off any chills sneaking around and I was pleasantly comfortable as I sat there mentally reviewing our day at the beach.

It's a long ride from here to Las Lajas. It's even longer when the road is clogged by a plodding bull dozer and unhurried traffic. We made it though, in a shade less than two hours after stops for chips, ice, gas, and money from an ATM. I was reminded of youthful trips to the "shore" as the beach is called in New Jersey and the long haul down the Garden State Parkway to get there. The view from our windows on this day was dramatically improved over those of the Parkway, but I couldn't say the same about the roads. Pot holes abounded. To pass the time we had brought along cards from a Trivia game about the Eighties. After an hour or so of not answering most of the questions it was clear that the Eighties had slipped by all five of us without making much of an impression. Personally, I blame the fall-off in drug usage from the Sixties and Seventies. I remember those decades much better contrary to colloquial wisdom.

We arrived at Las Lajas right about noon, parked the car, unloaded and boogied to the small surf side restaurant that's housed there. We all had chicken, rice, beans and salad except for RTGFKAR who had pork chops, rice, beans and salad, the only other menu option. Gus and the house dog growled at each other for a half minute and then ignored each other for the rest of the day. The only other people in evidence apart from our waiter/cook were two old guys at a nearby table playing checkers using beer bottle caps as the checkers. After downing our almuerzo - the food was unexpectedly good by the way and, of course, dirt cheap, twenty bucks total for the five meals and that included a good tip - we set about doing beach things.

Fill in here descriptions of RTGFKAR and Yers Trewly splashing in the surf, Woowoo Charly, Bonnie and RTGFKAR hiking on the sand, LJ the Old Redneck and I sitting in the shade drinking Coronas and almost doing a crossword puzzle that Bonnie would mostly solve later and all the usual things you would expect to see a group of people doing at the beach with the exception of we guys eye-balling young things in bikinis. This latter was noticeably absent from the day as there was not a soul on the beach as far as we could see until late in the day when a couple of other old gringos showed up for a quick dip. Amazing. Beautiful day, warm pleasant surf, serenely quiet beach with shady Palms and nary a person, thing or thong to distract us from the excellent day we were having.

RTGFKAR drove a shortcut on the way back that I had passed up on the drive there and saved a bit of time. There was little difference in the actual mileage between the two routes but the shortcut had far less traffic. The conversation was lively the entire way and we only had to stop twice for LJ and I to rid ourselves of Coronas on the side of the road.

We dropped Bon and the Redneck at their place around the corner from us, went home and unpacked. American Idol was surprisingly unblocked so Woowoo Charly got that in before heading to bed. RTGFKAR grabbed the tube in the other room so I eschewed the basketball that was on and headed to the patio.

When I was finished contemplating the day, I contemplated going to bed and followed that up by doing so. There I slept like a rock. If rocks toss and turn, dream, make funny sleep noises and get up to pee three times, that is.

It was all in all a swell day and nobody enjoyed it more the Gustavo the Wonder Dog who roamed untethered throughout it. Swell, by the way, is an adjective that needs to be used more.