A Fair Fair

I can tell I'm old because I've been to Pricesmart and purchased things in quantities that can only be described as "a lifetime supply." I've done this, many times.

We, RTGFKAR, Woowoo Charly, Bonnie and I, finished up our Pricesmart run and loaded our new lifetime supply of napkins, paper towels, dirt cheap wine - but only the finest dirt cheap wine - etc. in the rear of RTGFKAR's car and set off for the fair. I don't know if it has an official name, everybody just says the feria in David, but it's much like a state fair in the U.S. There are rides and exhibits and enough tents selling food and drink that placed end to end they'd reach form here to there and that's a long way. We walked and gawked and the ladies marveled at the plant exhibits and art work while I counted the baseball caps for sale at every other booth. There were twenty nine thousand twelve and twenty eight thousand of them bore the New York Yankees logo. This is further proof that under the surface of this beautiful and serene country there lies a sick and twisted society. There were no Broncos, Nuggets or Rockies caps available anywhere. I did purchase a nice broad brimmed, pseudo fedora made of straw whose price I haggled all the way down to fourteen dollars from the fifteen being asked. Can I negotiate or what? Our neighbor Dalys had said the feria was expensive but apart form the hat and a small jade plant we didn't buy anything to take home. We did, however ooh and aah over a hand carved, Nicaraguan wooden bar that was going for a mere nine hundred bucks. RTGFKAR said I should buy it, but I told him I'd left my wallet in the car. After an hour or so of hoofing around, we stopped for a cold cerveza under a crowded tent near the amusement area. We could see a few rides from where we sat and most of them were the traditional shake, rattle and rollers that have been around forever. There was one, though, called a Crazy House I'd never seen before. It was a bright yellow, old school house sized abode that sat on the ground waiting for unwary children to enter. Once the kids were all in and seated, the house lifted off the ground, spun around, dipped and dived and generally behaved in an unstable manner before settling back down to earth. It looked like a gas to me, but since no one over the age of twelve was getting in or out I passed up giving it a go. Right next to where we sat sipping were the bumper cars which I wanted RTGFKAR to include as part of our house construction budget. He opted for guest rooms and banyos instead. Because of the nearness of the rides we had to shout to be heard above the din. It was clouding up outside and one of our group said we were going to get a shower. I said, "great that will free up my Saturday" but nobody heard or if they did they were trying not to show it so as not to encourage me; a thing they often do. Our tab for the three brews and one soda was $2.50. I figured fifty cents a beer and a buck for the Pepsi. This, I'm sure, is to discourage people from drinking sodas which are bad for you. After we'd taken in the bulls, the horses, the furniture, the plants, the knickknacks, the Yankee caps, tractors and the "Hamburger and Soda $1" stands (we didn't get a hamburger we were robbed!)and I bemoaned the lack of side shows, freak shows and gaming booths, especially the free-throw basketball toss where I excel, we motored back to Boquete and unloaded our lifetime supplies. How long should a thousand napkins last anyway?