4th of July

Cuatro de Julio. 4th of July. Picnics, parades, fireworks. How about that Revolutionary War? That was a good one, wasn't it? Minute men, Washington crossing the Delaware, Bunker Hill, Redcoats and Paul Revere. Pretty much sums up what I learned in school. That and something about throwing all the tea into Boston Harbor because we had decided to become coffee drinkers. Makes for a good celebration though. I wonder if the Madisons and the Jeffersons got together the year after the war ended for burgers and beer? More potato salad Tom? Probably not. What did they do and why don't we know more about it? Why don't our history books tell us more of these important details? I'll tell you why. Because it's a conspiracy to keep us in the dark. The first of it's kind. The founding fathers, a couple of the mothers and one or two kids huddled up and said, now what? We've knocked off the old country, got rid of tea, soccer, good manners and health care, what else can we do for fun? So they decided right then and there to create baseball, the kind without designated hitters, the Super Bowl, the 4th of July and secret societies where they could meet to determine the course of the world and invent other sports. Motocross is one of those. They were, afterall, conspire-ers, which is a word you can't say three times in a row without making your mouth go all funny. They conspired to rid the country of King George, soldiers wearing red and taxes. They did this by making a declaration. That made them conspire-ers and declarer-ers. Sure we've got George and the taxes back, but our troops look darn sporting in those camouflage outfits. They also conspired, which for those of you who don't know, is when two or more people put their heads real close and whisper, several other things like the right to bear arms and children, not knowing at the time that we'd bear too many of both. And then because other people were suspicious what with them whispering all the time, they declared all their stuff out loud and on paper and that's why we have the Declaration Of Independence, The Constitution and The U.S.G.A. Rules of Golf. Reason enough for burgers and beer.