At a Loss For Words

Ninjas would be a good name for a sports team. Ninjas vs. Cardinals sounds like a mismatch though, even if the Cardinals are mucky muck catholics. Of course we already have "Tigers Maul Orioles" in boldface, so I guess it doesn't matter. I wonder why we never see violent headlines from the gentler nicknamed teams. You know, like "Angels Bomb Padres" or "Ravens Totally Flocked"? No imagination, I guess. The State colleges of Oregon have two of my favorite nicknames, Ducks and Beavers. I'm still waiting for the headline that says, "Beavers shoot back." I may have to wait awhile.

So, how's it going with you out there today? Everything okay? Good. Any requests?

I was just sitting here thinking about nothing in particular which is a semi buddhist thing to do. Thinking about Nothing. See, if you can get to Nothing, then you are open to Everything. Or so I've read. I must be open to Everything because I got Nothing. Just goes to show you shouldn't believe everything you read unless, you know, it's here where the truth comes to hide. For instance, I read this morning that if you drink five cups of green tea a day you will live forever or die from cancer. All other forms of death are excluded by the tea. Truth is there is still that bus bumper with your name on it. Besides, who wants to die from cancer? Have you ever had green tea? Yeah. Then you know. Green tea is to tea what light beer is to Guiness. There's no tea in the tea.

What else? What can I comment on? I'm taking questions from the audience. Anybody? C'mon, I'm at Wit's End which is a terrible place to be. No Wit. I'll have to go back to where Wit is. Tomorrow. Maybe. There's always a Swell Veldt.