Father's Day

Inconsequentialness. I was thinking about the incon... of this blog when one of my readers referred to it as masturbation. I thought perhaps he was right, but then on further reflection, I realized that I get enough feedback from other readers to know this is not just masturbation, but actual, full fledged, intercourse! (And if you are going to have intercourse it should be fledged, fully) That said, let's get it on. (Inconsequentialness has 19 letters, how much foreplay do you need?)

Today is Father's Day, another Hallmark creation celebrating a part of the consequentialness of intercourse. One minute you're screaming, "Oh Baby oh Baby" and the next minute you've got one. I don't know the connection there but you'll never hear me screaming, "Oh Walrus." Father's day is a good holiday even if it was created to sell cards and last year's ties, because it gives an excuse to play golf or go fishing or sit on your ass and watch The U.S. Open wondering if Phil Mickelson should wear a manziere. It's also a good day because each and every one of your children will call you or email you and wish you a happy or they will GO TO THEIR ROOMS AND STAY THERE UNTIL THEY ARE READY TO SAY THEY ARE SORRY. Wives, on the other hand, will think back to Mother's Day and act accordingly. I made breakfast for mine, gave her presents, played golf with her and took her to a fine restaurant for dinner. Okay, so it wasn't all in the same year, but I did do those things. I am personally going to celebrate Father's Day by not doing all those damn things I have to do every other day. Like...like... shaving. I am NOT going to shave today and I'm going to enjoy the heck out it. I am also Not going to make dinner. Wait a minute, I don't do that anyway. So nevermind that, but I am definetly NOT going to shave. And if I were the rest of you Dads out there, I wouldn't either. Today is the day to make a stand.

Happy Father's Day to those of you who qualify, and, what the hay, to the rest of you as well.