The Open Opens

The U.S. Open begins today. The golf version not the tennis version. The tennis version is for people who enjoy turning their heads from side to side in a rhythmic sort of way and who say things like, "he has an excellent forehand." The forehand is, of course, the one opposite the afthand. The golf version of The Open is for golfers. I can't imagine anyone else tuning in to hear an announcer in his most dramatic whispered voice say, "this three footer breaks left to right ever so slightly Bob," other than Phil Mickelson groupies who on the whole make Desperate Housewives look like a stable group. Hence Charly and I will be watching all four hours each day for the next four days. It is either that or England vs. Trinidad Tobaggo. We define this as fun. We get to comment on the play and follow our favorite players while reading books, cleaning house, playing with the dog, or anything else we can squeeze in between the fast paced action on the tv screen. Charly's favorite players are the aforementioned Phil Ficklehead and old guys Fred Couples and Ben Crenshaw. I like Tiger and Ernie. One name guys. Like Pele and Kaka. On the distaff side - I don't think I've ever said that before. Distaff. Dis staff heah is da staff of life - we both like Lorena Ochoa because she is a cutie and a fellow Spanish speaker and I always like it when Natalie Gulbis is in the hunt, because, A. she is a fox and B. How much fun is it to say Nat Tal E Goool Biss? Lots. We realize that this kind of activity, golf watching, like sword swallowing or scab picking is not for everyone on a daily basis, but we do reccommend that you tune in on Sunday when the competiton gets really tight and you've got time to, say, rebuild your car engine or knit an afghan that will cover the garage while Mickelson lines up a putt. It's really exciting. For golfers.